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Humor in English

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gezuar Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Thu 17 Jul 2008, 20:57

Three blondes applied for the police academy. Before they could enter they had to take a test. The test included a photo test to see if they could remember details of a person.
Each of them were shown the photo for 5 seconds and then they were asked if they could describe the person on the photo.

The Police officer: Can you describe the person on the photo?
Blonde 1: The person has two eye and two ear.
The Police officer: is there anything else you can tell me about the person?
Blonde 1: No thats all i remember.
The Police officer: Are you sure because the photo is taken from the side of the person.
Of course the Blonde 1 didn't pass the test.

Blonde 2 was shown the same photo.
The Police officer: Can you describe the person to me on the photo?
Blonde 2: The person have one eye and one ear
The Police officer: Can you rememeber anything else?
Blonde 2: Why do the person just have only one eye and one ear?
The Police officer: Because the photo is taken form the side of the person.
Of Course Blonde 2 didn't pass the test either.

Blonde 3 was shown the same photo as the other two blondes.
The police officer: Can you describe the person to me on the photo?
Blonde 3: The person has contact lenses
The Police officer was surprised and looked through his files on the person and found that the person had contact lenses.
The Police officer: Why do you think he has contact lenses for?
Blonde 3: Because he has only one ear and you cannot use any glases then

Blonde 3 passed the test of course.

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
***Love does something and takes me there next to you...***
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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga ylli prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:17

po shkruaj shqip ore dreq a"veē se i kopjon dhe i nis ketu behet fjal per humor shqip !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me ju

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
Kur linde ti qave por qeshen te tjeret prndaj jeto ne at menyr qe kur te shkoj nga kjo bot ti te shkosh i gezuar e te tjeret te qajn per ty.
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Mesazh nga Vizitor prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:19

ylli shkruajti:po shkruaj shqip ore dreq a"veē se i kopjon dhe i nis ketu behet fjal per humor shqip !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me ju
Ylli Annika nuk di mire shqip ok.

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga ylli prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:21

po ajo te kopjoj humor shqip biles

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
Kur linde ti qave por qeshen te tjeret prndaj jeto ne at menyr qe kur te shkoj nga kjo bot ti te shkosh i gezuar e te tjeret te qajn per ty.
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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Naki prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 21:12

ylli shkruajti:po ajo te kopjoj humor shqip biles
ka kush kujdeset per keto gjera lal Very Happy

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:00

morena shkruajti:
ylli shkruajti:po shkruaj shqip ore dreq a"veē se i kopjon dhe i nis ketu behet fjal per humor shqip !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me ju
Ylli Annika nuk di mire shqip ok.

Thank you Morena for explaining jocolor


Ylli jam perpiqem mesoj shqip. Une nuk flet & kuptoj shqip mire Sad Sad

Ylli I am trying to learn Albanian. I dont speak and understand Albanian very good Sad Sad

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:07

Please everyone speak English in this section. Thank you very much. Very Happy Very Happy

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 21:53

Sherock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. They put up their tent and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, look up at the sy and tell me what you see.
Watson replies: I see millions of stars.
Sherlock Holmes: What does that tell you?

Watson ponders for a minute and then replies: Astronomically speaking, it telss me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meterologically it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?

Sherlock Holmes is silent for a moment, then he replies:
Watson, are you being silly, someone has stolen our tent

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 21:53

About basketball

Symptoms

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had procceded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class speaking specifically about manic depression the instructor said:

How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next minute?

A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered:

A basketball coach

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Mesazh nga Annika prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 21:55

Today's riddle/puzzel

You are sitting behind the wheel in your car
and you are holding the speed limit constant.
At your left side do you have a abyss,
at your right side do you have a fire truck
and it holds the same speed limit as you do
In front of you is a pig running,
the pig is bigger than your car.
A helicopter is persecute (following) you on the ground level
behind your car.
Both the helicopter and the pig is holding the same speed limit as you do.

What should you do to get away from them...???





(Answer: Get of the carousel and let the kids ride the carousel on their own.
You are a grown up person)

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 22:57

How to get through the day at work Very Happy

Office Timetable
09.00 Starting time
09.30 Arrive at work
09.45 Coffee break
11.00 Check e-mail
11.15 Prepare for lunch
12.00 Lunch
14.45 Browse the internet
15.00 Tea break
16.00 Prepare to go home
16.30 Go home
17.00 Finishing time


Enjoy the day folks

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
***Love does something and takes me there next to you...***
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Mesazh nga Naki prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 22:59

A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London school teacher for the first time and she asked him his name.
'Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah," he said.
When she asked, "How do you spell it?"
he replied, "My mother helps me." Very Happy

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Wed 24 Dec 2008, 23:17

On a bright sunny day two tomatoes
were out walking on the streets.
They were going to cross the road
when a car came and one of them got
hit by the car.
The other tomato looked at his friend and said;
Come on Ketchup let's go 8) Very Happy

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
***Love does something and takes me there next to you...***
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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga liza prej Thu 25 Dec 2008, 01:11

English only !
Deleted by staf [Naki] dec 25th,2008

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gezuar Re: Humor in English

Mesazh nga Annika prej Sat 07 Feb 2009, 18:34

At the police station one night three police officers recieved a very strange telephone call.

Police 1 who answer the phone: London police, how may I help you?
The calling person: I don't really know how you can help me but I want to report something.
Police 1: Okey what happened?
The calling person: I want to report a very strange shining object which does not move above the hill?
Police 1: Okey
The calling person: Do you think you can send someone over here to take a look at it if you have some minutes left over. This object has been here for at least half an hour and it does not go away and its scaring people.
Police 1: Okey you say it has been there for half an hour... do you see the light on the hill or is it above in the sky?
The calling person: I really don't know. it looks like it is both on the hill and above the hill. Can you please send someone over here.
Police 1: Okey I will send some officers over there to take a look at it.
The calling person: Thank you I appriciate that a lot.

Police 1 sends police officers 2 & 3 to the place where the strange light has been seen. When they get there they take a look at the shining object. both getting a very good laugh about it. They call back to the police 1 and give him the report of what they found.
Police 2: You will not believe what we found here hahahhahahahha
Police 1: Alfa zulu 9. What did you find out about the shining object on the hill?
Police 3: It was the moon hahahhaha over and out hahahhahahah

firma.................................................................................................................................................................................
***Love does something and takes me there next to you...***
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